My 6 year old in pain without his dad!

So the last few days I have not been online we have been helping some people do some things and just been cleaning and so on. My 6 year old has been in and out of sperts this week. He has been asking a lot about Rogelio and when he is coming back. He said that he is sad that his dad can not be here and then gets mad at me. Sometimes it makes me feel so bad that hes so mad and sad at the same time. Other times I try and blow it off that he takes a lot of it out on me. I know that he is in pain too and it is just not me being the only one who suffers because Rogelio can't be here right now its him also. It is just so hard to blow things off when he says things like that but I need to because he dose not understand fully everything that we are going threw and that it is not my fault. It is still hard. Sometimes my words don't come out as well as I can feel them so bare with me:)

Rogelio feels helpless as he sits in Ecuador not being able to do anything about the problems that our older son is having. He wishes that he could do something but he is not able to. I feel like there is nothing else that I can do but be there for him and show him that we love him and care for him. I have told him many times that Rogelio is going to be able to come home it is just going to take some time. He says a lot I wish papi was here he would let me do this or that. Or sometimes he will say I wish papi was here he would go fishing with me.

For all of you out there that know how hard this is...omg taking a 6 year old fishing is not a problem. When he is allergic to the fish it becomes a problem having to keep looking at him to make sure he is not going to brake out or anything and then on top of helping your 6 year old having to watch and hold your 2 year old that dose not want to be held and just wants to jump in the water or run the other way is hard! My 2 year old is one wild boy:) I did not say its a bad thing its just a lot to take care of both of them when one is fishing. I wish that I was able to take Antonio out alone and take him places but its hard when you don't have anyone to care for your other son and even if someone says that they will watch him I know its going to be a lot to watch him since he is so wild and gets into everything.

I love my sons and I would not change anything about them ever. They are who they are and I love that.I am a great mother and wife and I love my family. I just can't wait in tell Rogelio is able to come home to be able to live our lives together with our two sons and our family. Please pray that he will be able to come home soon and that Antonio mostly will not have to suffer from his papi being gone anymore. In tell next time talk to you guys later:)